Written by a man for women, “Be Irresistible Presents: What Men Secretly Want” gives women a guided tour of the inner workings of a man’s mind and, more importantly, perhaps, his heart. James Bauer is a prominent relationship coach and a self-described student of human psychology. Through a combination of his work and personal life experiences, James came to discover that men and women have inherently different needs in their romantic relationships. He realized that men and women could improve the quality and durability of their relationships tremendously if only they would strive to give their partner what their partner needs, instead of what they themselves need.

In contrast to those dating courses that profess to teach you how to manipulate men and get them to do what you want, the system James developed from his work, which he called “Be Irresistible: What Men Secretly Want”, he teaches you how to change yourself in order to attract men in a way that makes them want to be with you.

The Foundation of the System: The Respect Principle

“Be Irresistible Presents: What Men Secretly Want” is founded on a concept called The Respect Principle. In short, this is what men secretly want. It’s based on a 2006 study conducted by Shaunti Feldhahn in which 400 men chose between two negative conditions to indicate which one they would prefer if they had to experience one. The two conditions were:

  • to be alone and unloved
  • to be inadequate and disrespected

The men surveyed displayed a preference for suffering loneliness and a lack of love over feeling disrespected and inadequate by a ratio of nearly three to one. (Women asked the same question, incidentally, chose the opposite.)

What this demonstrates is that men overwhelmingly care more about being respected than they do about being loved. James Bauer describes this as a fundamental communication gap between men and women that must somehow be bridged or crossed if a given man and woman are ever to come together. Bauer’s system, therefore, teaches women how to do just that: bridge or cross that gap. He teaches women to modify their behavior toward men to provide them, instead of the feelings of companionship and affection that women value, the feelings of respect and admiration that men value.

What Does the Course Include?

“Be Irresistible Presents: What Men Secretly Want” is sold as a 137-page ebook in PDF file format with an accompanying audio file in MP3 format. Also included with purchase is an eMagazine delivered directly to your email inbox.

What’s in the eBook

The “Be Irresistible Presents: What Men Secretly Want” ebook and audio course is broken up into nine chapters. What follows is the title of each of those chapters with a basic summary of the information each contains.

1. The Single Most Powerful Factor That Will Determine Relationship Success

In this chapter, James introduces you to The Respect Principle and explains why men do that thing of pulling away suddenly for seemingly no reason. He teaches you how to avoid triggering this behavior so, instead of the cold shoulder, he’s giving you warm caresses.

2. Your Secret Barometer For Success

In this chapter, James shows you how men measure respect in much the same way that women measure love. By learning how to give him the reactions he needs and not the ones you need, you can begin to see changes in his responses toward you in practically no time.

3. Double His Desire For A Committed Relationship

In this chapter, James covers some emergency efforts at your disposal should you accidentally trigger one of these distant, disinterested reactions. This is a particularly useful chapter given that errors and backslides are to be expected when changing behavior. You can’t expect to get everything perfect from the outset, and this chapter shows you how to recover from those inevitable moments when you don’t.

4. Stop Being Interesting and Get Interested

In this chapter, James reviews the scientific evidence supporting the belief that men would rather be the focus of attention than focus their attention on the women they’re with. Placing their attention on women is a learned behavior. By their nature, however, men would much rather be the interesting, funny ones. In order to do that, they require an audience: someone to impress with their talents. Women like a guy to make them laugh, which is fortunate, because men like to be the one to make the people they’re with laugh. In this chapter, James teaches you how to be one of those people.

5. Get A Guy To Commit: Increase Attraction While Setting Standards

Most women would be happy to give a man more of what he wants and needs if he showed a willingness to do the same for her in return. In this chapter, James turns The Respect Principle on its head, showing you how to set your standards even at the same time as you conform more to his. This is critical, as, just because you value love more and he values respect more, it doesn’t mean you each don’t want both love and respect. This chapter shows you how to set the stage for you each to have both.

6. How to Unlock His Emotions and Get Him To Open Up

In this chapter, James probes that ageless mystery of how to get men to open up about their feelings. It is possible, it turns out.

7. How Can You Find Quality Men?

No amount of dating advice can help two people who aren’t right for each other to stay together. This chapter helps you avoid that scenario altogether by finding the right men for you to date in the first place. Learn how to identify which men, for example, will be receptive to all the efforts you make based on James’s advice? Prevent needless heartbreak before it’s even a possibility by knowing which men to stay away from and which ones to pursue (or let pursue you, as the case may be.)

8. Meet Your Avatar

Maybe you don’t know yet what the right man for you is like. Or maybe you only think you do. In any case, this chapter will shore that up with a questionnaire designed to help you figure out exactly that: which men are right for you, and how do you find them? This knowledge also has the added advantage of making you more magnetic to men, as men are innately attracted to women who know what they want.

9. Places and Situations to Avoid

As important as knowing where to meet the man of your dreams is knowing where you most likely won’t ever meet him. In this chapter, James gives you the straight lowdown on all the hot pickup spots to avoid like the plague. In addition, he lays out all the scenarios that keep the right guy for you from noticing or approaching you.

The “Be Irresistible Presents: What Men Secretly Want” package also includes two bonus guides:

The Art of Intrigue: How To Make Him Crazy For You

James ordinarily sells this ebook independently for $47 as well. He decided to include it free here, however, in order to add to your bag of seductive tricks.

The Active Ingredients of Love

For all that women crave love, it’s incredible how many don’t have a very clear idea of what love is. Wouldn’t it be something if part of the reason why you’ve been unable to find and keep love in your life is that you have an inexact picture of what love actually looks like? Through countless conversations with women across the spectrum of backgrounds and lifestyles, James has identified the core concepts that keep a relationship long-lasting and loving.

Cost & Availability

“Be Irresistible Presents: What Men Secretly Want” is sold for $47. It comes with a 60-day, no-questions-asked, money-back guarantee.

Pros & Cons


  • The course is easy to follow, structured as a how-to guide in nine step-by-step sections.
  • It offers two ways to learn, with the full course provided in both PDF ebook and MP3 audio file formats.
  • In terms of credibility, the program was created by a popular relationship counselor and is based on sound scientific research.
  • The program was designed explicitly for women and uses many true-life situations as examples.
  • If you aren’t satisfied with the course for any reason, it comes with a complete 60-day money-back guarantee.


  • This is no quick fix or secret trick for manipulating men into loving you. This guide teaches you how to make deep changes within yourself regarding how you interact with men, and that takes work to put into action.
  • This is not a relationship guide. It focuses on a very specific topic: how to attract and keep quality men. It does not, however, teach you how to have a happy, healthy and mutually fulfilling relationship, for example.
  • Flashy chapter titles and big marketing hype aside, you still actually have to read the 137-page ebook, or listen to it in audiobook form, in order to receive its wisdom.
  • The book isn’t available in paperback or hardcover, and it isn’t available in physical, brick-and-mortar stores. Rather, it’s only available online and only in digital form.

Men want respect, women want love. Learn how to give a man the respect he craves, and he’ll return in kind with the love you desire. This is the foundation of James Bauer’s “Be Irresistible Presents: What Men Secretly Want” course and the promise on which it aims to deliver. Read or listen to it, follow its guidance, and you, too, can learn how to treat a man as he wants to be treated without lowering your own standards.

Last Updated: May 03, 2020.