The Woman Men Adore- and Never Want to Leave is a 2005 publication by Bob Grant. It is a short read- just 113 pages- available online on Amazon and Goodreads. It seeks to teach women how they can be their best selves, and consequently become more attractive to men. The book retails for $47.
The book idealizes that a woman who pays attention to her own heart and emotions ends up being more attractive than she who puts her focus on pleasing men. It advocates for self-importance and self-care among women. The major lesson is how a woman can use her femininity to gain control over men, by learning where and when to bring it to the fore or relinquish it.
The Woman Men Adore in Depth
The story begins in a male perspective, exploring the different things that men mainly look for in a woman. It outlines the fears of men and the reasons that make them run away from certain types of women. It also delves into the particular traits that make men want to commit to the women in their lives. It goes further to explain how women can improve these admirable traits within themselves.
It then looks at the fears of women that make them vulnerable in relationships, and consequently push the men out of the doors of their lives. Trust oneself and following the deep desires of the heart is advocated as a way of overcoming these fears, and advice is given on the steps a woman should take in order to acquire these. A step by step guide is given outlining how women can work on what is perceived as vulnerability and turn it to strength that will give them a better stand in relationships.
Some of the issues discussed in this section include the need for women to feel independent and how this can drive them to scare men from their lives. It explores how this need has caused women in modern society to make a scramble to be like men, and how the men themselves have reacted to this. The need to be strong has been a vital ingredient for the woman’s rise in a patriarchal society. Women have had to fight for their place in a society that gave them the back seat in the job market. Some jobs were viewed as male-only and salary scales were a joke. Bob acknowledges the need for women to stand up to these inequalities.
He, however, discourages the spillage of the same into relationships. When women strive to be too independent in relationships, they breed insecurity in the men around them without knowing it. He encourages the need to make men feel manly in relationships, and lists this as a power on the part of women. By allowing men to take the lead in some issues, women can easily get the said issues to move in the direction they desire, while at the same time keeping the men in their lives happy. Take hauling heavy luggage for example. Men will be proud to feel needed to help with this task; women will be happy to get the task done. A woman who has to struggle with such will tire herself out, and manage to make her man feel useless.
Next, the book delves into relationships proper. It takes the reader on a journey of being attached to a man, exploring the day to day occurrences that will happen in a typical relationship and how they will affect the bond between two people in love.
Types of conflicts in a relationship and their causes are discussed in detail. Touchy issues like balancing work and having time for each other are highlighted. It moves from the living room to the kitchen and the bedroom, and even ventures out to the couple’s work places. A guideline on how to solve particular conflicts is then given, showing women the positions to take during conflict resolution in order to achieve the most beneficial results.
Bob emphasizes the need for forgiveness as part of all conflict resolutions, and looks into how women can take the lead in the forgiveness process. He does not just ask women to forgive, but shows how women can use the simple power of femininity to help men heal from hurt and attain a state of whole forgiveness. By being gentle, a woman at fault can convince a man that the future is clear- similar mistakes won’t happen again- and help him to forgive her without reservation. She must then work to regain and re-build his trust, a power, Grant says, is greater in women than in men.
The book winds up by outlining actionable guidelines that women can work on to attain more wholesome and fulfilling relationship. The advice offered is practical, step by step and measurable.
Writing Style
Grant chose to work with a simple conversational tone in this book. He speaks directly to the woman, using ordinary day to day language. This personal touch gives the book more meaning in the eyes of the reader woman, and the simple language makes it easy to comprehend.
The use of practical examples to outline issues also gives reality to the topics discussed. When Bob talks, for instance, about a man having an arm wrestle with another man in the presence of his woman, he brings the real image to the reader’s mind. He then encourages the woman to root for her man instead of mocking him, which in turn forces the reader to picture herself in that situation and ask herself what she would do.
It also carefully explores the fundamental differences between men and women, without trying to portray any gender as superior. It explains how men and women take in experiences differently, then tries to bring out the importance of women taking proactive roles in relationships.
Who is The Women Men Adore for?
This is a book for women. It speaks of how to maintain relationships, so it would basically be meant for people who are in relationships. These could be married women seeking to strengthen ties with their husbands or dating women looking to set the ambiance for the expected marriage. Single women will not find it very much actionable in their present status, but it would also give them a great guideline if they intend to get into relationships in the future.
About Bob Grant
With the abundance of relationship books around, it becomes necessary to delve slightly into an unconventional lane of reviews, review the writer’s authority.
Bob Grant is a practicing relationship counselor, dealing mainly with issues that affect women. He has been in the industry for over a decade, earning himself the nickname ‘Relationship Doctor’ in the process. He owns Savvy Miss, an online extension of his women counseling practice. Bob is married to Stacy, with whom they have four children. The fact that he has been in the trade for that long and also doubles up as a family man gives Grant the authority to comment on relationship issues.
The writer uses a unique style to highlight common relationship issues that are often forgotten. Making your man feel manly may feel like a basic relationship instruction. Grant, however, pin points daily instances during which this rule is overlooked, and makes the reader marvel at just how many times they are unconsciously guilty. The style in which issues are highlighted kind of takes the reader through a meditation journey as they read the book.
The conversational tone may, however, rub some readers the wrong way, depending on how one filters their language. There are those who only swear at home but keep it strict and straight in public. For those who keep their language tight with strangers, the use of words like ‘witch’ in the book may appear sexist. If a reader does want to lose themselves completely in the book and would rather read it objectively, words like ‘tease,’ used as it is in the text may also sound sexist.
Pros
- Realistic- The book highlights relationship in a way that helps readers to relate in their day to day issues and view themselves in the said light.
- Actionable- It does not just highlight problems and solutions, but also gives women a step by step guide on how to achieve results.
- Motivational- the book motivates women to be better beings by improving their self-care and trust.
Cons
- Only available in e-book- Paperback lovers will miss out on this one. It is also not available in audio or video formats.
- Cost- It may be argued that the book is cheap compared to a $175 counseling session, but $47 for 113 pages is quite high.
- Manipulative- Although the book is lauded as empowering, some readers have said they feel it manipulates them to change who they are in order to attract men and make relationships work.
- Women only- While it is specifically written for women, the book creates an imbalance by not giving any tips to men. At the end of the day, a relationship takes two people to build; guiding just one is counter-productive. The book should have at least a follow-up with a men’s guide.
Conclusion
The Woman Men Adore is a recommended read for every woman who is in a relationship or has plans to get in one. You may not be having problems in your relationship, but this book will help you strengthen further by highlighting the traps that you might need to avoid in future. The book is only 113 pages, which makes it bearable even for women who do not read much.
The step by step guide sets it apart from most relationship books. Bob Grant has been in the relationship counseling business for 17 years; he must have seen it all in that long. That he has been able to sum it all up in 113 pages is a gift to the world of couples.
Last Updated: May 03, 2020.
